Rainbow people and golden mountains

Do not disturb. Thank you.

Recently, the Tall Man and I visited my family for our first face-to-face meet up in nearly a year and a half, which is a long time for adults but a seeming eternity for kids. I planned to bring some books for my niece and nephew -- affectionately referred to in my head (and here) as Little Peep and Big Peep. I scanned my bookshelves to assess my old favorites. Some had made the long journey from my childhood home to college, then grad school, and now would be making the full circle back. Perhaps one of them would become a Peep favorite, too!

After making my selections, I packed a box and headed off. Once we gathered together, though, all was forgotten amid the flurry of hugs and dim sum. My brother's sheepdog remained at the Tall Man's side as he petted her with one hand and ate with the other -- the ultimate in multitasking. Then I felt a wet tongue lick me from elbow to shoulder, and I jumped in my chair. It was hard to tell whether the dog had fully accepted me as part of the family, or if she just wanted a bite of my fluffy char siu bao.

It was only later, after taking refuge from the scorching sun, that the box and its contents resurfaced. I was resting in the bedroom when Little Peep brought the parcel upstairs. "Goo-Goo,"* she said, plopping the box down on the bedspread beside me, "Uncle [Tall Man] told me to ask you which book I should read."

Miscellanea, etc. / 17 Feb 2017

I've had a string of flare ups in the last couple weeks and have been spending more time at home than I would have hoped. Thanks to technology, though, here is a smattering of miscellanea that has kept me occupied in my couch-bound days:

/ / /

_ SCARS ARE BEAUTIFUL

Rachel Sussman, “Study for Sidewalk Kintsukuroi #01 (New Haven, Connecticut)” (via Hyperallergic)

“Cracks represent something in need of attention, and the surfaces we walk, bike, and drive over are usually overlooked until they’re in truly critical condition,” Sussman said. “By gilding them, it’s a way to see what’s around us with fresh eyes and to celebrate perseverance.”

Artist Rachel Sussman takes the Japanese tradition of kintsukuroi, repairing ceramics with gold, to the more macro scale of the floor, the sidewalk. I can't help but be drawn to her careful attention to the scars in our cities. Her work is currently part of an exhibition on gold at the Des Moines Art Center. (via Hyperallergic; emphasis my own)

A birthday observed

The Tall Man and Grandpa in 2013, celebrating their birthdays and love for blue checkered shirts

I've always been a birthday person. Or maybe it's more accurate to say I am a birthday observer.

When I was younger, I kept mental track of my family and friends' special days and always had a card ready to hand deliver. As people dispersed -- moved away, went to college, grew up -- I started mailing them. Then life got busier, and I started sending texts and emails, or the occasional Facebook wall post if I didn't have time for a longer message. The messages shortened and became littered with emojis, but the content remained relatively the same.

For sure, birthdays are special occasions to celebrate a loved one's life. But they've also become an opportunity to acknowledge that person's significance to me, to catch a glimmer of their life. For those I don't see very often, this "hello - happy birthday - remember when? - how are you?" has become the very gateway to keeping in touch, even if our last encounter was in a distant phase of life.

[#invisiblefight] 30 Things

As part of Invisible Illness Week, I wanted to share a relative snapshot of my illness and a bit of what the day to day is like. I can be particularly wordy (despite being a Twitter user ... those restrictive 140 characters), so it was hard to keep my responses to a minimum. But I did my best to not write a novel! (Novel writing is a task for November...)

The meme below is a II Week and Rest Ministries initiative. I tried to answer as candidly as possible, editing my responses in some places but trying to keep what first came to mind. If I were to fill this out tomorrow, I might give a different response -- all of them true. Every question is the tip of an iceburg.

I'd encourage you to fill one out for yourself and to read others' responses. They're little windows into a life that otherwise might remain, well, invisible.

3 years, or when enough is truly enough

Yesterday was a milestone of sorts.  Here is what I wrote:

///

Today is a funny kind of anniversary, bittersweet and strange.

A little over three years ago, I went to Sierra Leone and came back with malaria-like symptoms.

Exactly three years ago -- March 19th, 2012 -- I was nearly paralyzed by an unknown illness.  And it's been a long road since then.

In the beginning, I played the "what if" game.  What if I hadn't gone to West Africa?  What if I hadn't gotten sick?  What if I hadn't eaten that burrito (the mundane dinner I had that "fateful" night)?  What if I had just finished my thesis when I was supposed to instead of extending it one semester more?

Sometimes you just need to make light

This is a different spin on the Late Night Tracks series.

It's been a bit of a rough few weeks, and sometimes when life gets thick and hairy, you just need a laugh.  To make light.  To find joy in the midst of trying circumstances.  To see yellow in the gray.  And music can be a great source of lightness, especially because it can go on repeat.

Although I'm not a big pop music fan (even though secretly you may find some 90's-to-early-00's boy band music on my Spotify), I somehow really truly like this song by fellow Pennsylvanian Taylor Swift, "Shake It Off" from her most recent album 1989.  One of my students mentioned the song to me, and now I watch the music video every once in a while when I need a laugh and something to bob my head to.  (Surfing YouTube will also bring you to some thousands of parodies of this song, too.  Imitation is the highest form of flattery, right?  Maybe?)

(Edit: That viral 80s aerobics video plus the perfect soundtrack, with some insight into its genesis.  How come our opening ceremonies don't look more like this nowadays?)

I'm also occasionally nostalgic about my ballet days, so watching the dancing is a treat, too - like seeing a baby elephant among, well, ballerinas.  This outtake goes behind the scenes to see how Taylor and the dancers work together on the choreo.  I'm pretty wowed by the fact that she put so much effort into learning - then unlearning - all these different dance types.  The other outtakes are also worth a watch.

And because the album name is an ode to birth years and childhood, as a bonus I'll share a bit of myself from the wonder years:

Guess which one is me?

Unexpected London fog

A "London Fog" brightens up a day in Boston

I find God in the unexpected,
those situations that seemed trivial:
a passing comment,
a line from a movie,
an image on a screen.
Serendipity turns spiritual in unguarded moments
because God chooses to speak to me
through the unexpected.

 

_ Kwasi Kena, in The Africana Worship Book, Year C

A friend of mine often reminds me to look for and savor the little joys of life.  Lately, though, I've found this harder to do.

After two weeks of being relatively home-bound due to recent health complications, I've gotten fed up with blobbing on the couch while the world seems to speed on by.  Don't get me wrong -- I do still love my Food Network and podcasts, which have been constant sources of entertainment while I haven't been able to do much else.  But this life standstill has also felt like another endless roundabout in an even longer journey to my goals.

Today, though, I was able to do a bit more than in recent days.  The Tall Man and I took advantage of this crisp autumn day -- a relief from recent rains -- and sojourned across the bridge into Boston.  Our destination was one of my favorite cafes, Pavement Coffeehouse.

Although I was exhausted by the time we got there, the aroma of freshly-brewed coffee cleared some of that brain fog.  I knew I wanted tea -- after all, it was technically tea time -- but instead of my usual herbal option, I took a detour when the barista mentioned a drink called the "London Fog."  It's really just a dressed up Earl Grey tea latte (with milk, vanilla, and perhaps a sweetener), but the name and the add-ins made it the perfect treat to crown this excursion.

I had mine made with soy milk, so some might say this rendition was a cross between a Manchester Fog and Winter Fog (according to this list-happy Wiki).  And the drink actually originated in Vancouver, Canada, despite its British-leaning moniker.  Whatever.  I didn't discover these facts until I returned home.  In the moment, I just savored the sweet smells of vanilla and honey, intermixed with the citrus-y freshness of bergamot.

Deep breath.  Ahh ...  (smile)

It was in that moment that my friend's words came to mind.  This little glimmer -- a London Fog moment right here and now -- was there to put some joy in my heart.  I needed it.  Or I needed to be able to see it.

This honest poem by Kwasi Kena, professor at Wesley Seminary (and jazz pianist!), well captures that delight of small discovery, of finding the divine in the mundane.

Head to the Upper Room to read the full poem, included in one of their daily devotionals.  It's worth it!

Egg and mojitos

The cool refreshing situation I wish to be in! (stock photo*)

On
a day like this,
I feel like an egg,
fragile, with wobbly innards.
The Tall Man,
a chemist,
aptly replies,
"encased in calcium carbonate"
am I.

Then I smile.
No one like a scientist to put some perspective on a situation.

- - -

I realized that even on bad health days when I can't do much beyond sitting on the couch and staring at something (the computer, the wall, the sun outside, the inside of my eyelids), I can still type.  Even when I can't think very well, and even when I can't move very well, I can still (usually) type.  Thank you, Mavis Beacon, for ingraining QWERTY into my fingers so that I don't have to use the active part of my brain to bring words to the screen!  Liberation indeed.

* And, a random note on stock photos:

Usually I try to use my own photos on this blog or just in general for design projects.  This time, though, I thought I wanted a photo of an egg and didn't have energy to photograph one from our fridge, so I decided to look up "free stock photos."  The typical sites with watermarks splashed all over the important part of the image came up -- and then I spotted this post on Medium that hit the spot for finding good, unique, and largely free stock photos online.  The author brazenly declares that readers should bookmark his post, but then I started looking at the sites -- and now I agree.

The photo above comes from Picjumbo, a site that isn't completely comprehensive but has some fun images with interesting angles.  Plus, if you look beyond the ads in the sidebar, there's a search field.  Sadly, I didn't find any photos of eggs -- but I did find this one that seemed less dismal and aptly called "Mojito with a laptop."

And wouldn't that brighten anyone's day?

Normalizing Wonder Woman

A new year, new resolutions, and new reads.  A quote that recently struck me:

"I realized that there was a power in telling these goofy, crazy, messy stories from my life. I started experimenting with that mode of storytelling in the book. It was therapy for me, first of all, to put some of this stuff on paper. But I think it worked, at some level. What I’ve heard from many readers of the book is that it validated some of their own struggles. That has been a good thing for me to hear. It was scary to put some of this stuff out there. But I think what I began to understand when I was writing it, and I’ve definitely understood since the book came out, is that everybody has these stories. Everybody has the breast pump. Everybody has the moments where they are ready to kill their husband and their hair is horrible. They are blowing the presentation because their kid had to poop last night. The more we can get these stories out there without turning this into a massive sobbing event, it just normalizes the image of Wonder Woman, which is a much better place to be than perpetuating this myth of perfection."

Debora Spar, president of Barnard College
Interview by Knowledge@Wharton, "Debora Spar on Women’s (Impossible) Quest for Perfection"


Last summer, I started writing a life update.  Now, I'm still writing it and hopefully will finish soon.  Spar's interview reminded me that we all, do indeed, have these crazy stories from our imperfect lives.  It hasn't been easy for me to write this update, especially since my goal is to somehow express in a coherent, non-sentimental, yet honest way of how my last 2 years have been, especially in struggles related to health.  It's hard to write about this stuff.  It's messy.  I've written so many drafts and not even bothered to proofread my earlier versions because they sounded so not like how I wanted to sound.  But accounts like Spar's and others motivate me.  Writing has been a type of therapy -- getting thoughts down on paper (or screen), figuring out to share them, validating that they are personal and valuable.  Each word written is another step in the right direction.

Preview of the Mr. and Mrs.

People keep asking me, "Where are your wedding photos?  Can I see them?"  And my answer is "... not yet!  Unless you want to see slightly shaky iPhone shots of us taken by guests."  Smiley face.

These types proliferate in social media, but the benefit and negative to having a professional wedding and editorial photographer take your pictures is that 1) he likely took thousands of photos from the wedding and needs to sift through them to find the good ones and touch them up, and 2) because he does wedding photography, he is also off just about every weekend shooting other weddings and being a photojournalist .. meaning there is a back log of work.  And your photos are not always hovering at the top of his to do list.

But no matter.  I'm patient.  And there is at least one photo I can present as a preview!  I requested a shot to use in time for Christmas, and here it is:

Photo by Sandor Welsh Photography

I should note that I was VERY cold.  My goosebumps are probably visible in the RAW file of this image.  But this shot still makes for a good "first look" :)  You can imagine what our dialogue must have been like.

[the big day] Couple photo

Marcus and I have a tendency to take particular sorts of "couple photos" -- not typically ones of us caught in some tight embrace, but rather of the impersonal sort without either of us in them.  I don't remember when this developed, but we got in the habit of finding two objects of the same type but different sizes -- and laughing hilariously while taking pictures of those items.  People in cafes, grocery stores, and other places must have found us weird.

During our semi-impromptu engagement photo session with Po-Ru all those months back this summer, what good fortune did we have but to find an awesome couple photo awaiting us in the Toah Nipi kitchen?  Industrial sized spice jug meets tiny household spice rack inhabitant.  A spicy mix!

<3 p="p">
- - -
Photo by Po-Ru Loh, who was a good sport about indulging our idiosyncrasies.

[the big day] Blooms

Although I like flowers, I've considered cut flowers - especially in vases - to be pretty money sinks that die too quickly (unless they come from Trader Joe's - somehow, those bouquets last for ages!  almost 2 weeks with only one water change!).

But perhaps wedding planning has changed my mind.  Or the wedding industry is leading me to change my mind.

In any rate, I have reinforced my liking for dahlias and developed a penchant for poppies.  We'll see what develops.

- - -
Photo by floral stylist Amy Merrick

Staring London in the eye

A bus advert that had amused me all those years ago.

A no-nonsense anti-guide to London (one of our honeymoon stops):

"... You want stiff-lipped men in bowler hats and cheeky cockneys with their thumbs in their waistcoats and fish on their heads. 

I’m sorry, but they’re not here anymore. No city’s exported image lags so far behind its homegrown veracity than London’s, so let’s start with what you’re not going to find. We’re all out of cheeky cockneys, pearly kings and their queens, and costermongers. You’re not going to find ’60s psychedelia and the Beatles in Carnaby Street. There aren’t any punks under 50 on the King’s Road; there are no more tweedy, mustachioed, closeted gay writers in Bloomsbury, no Harry Potter at King’s Cross. There aren’t men in white tie, smoking cigars outside Pall Mall clubs and there isn’t any fog, but you can find Sherlock Holmes’s house on Baker Street." 

// A.A. Gill, in his NYTimes' article "A Profile of London"

 What ... no fog?!  No fish on cockneys' heads?!

Just kidding.  The fog part (amongst other things) I can attest to firsthand.  I was studying abroad in Paris in the spring of 2005.  For our semester break, I ventured to London to visit my friend Jackie.  Paris had been dulled by constant rain and clouds, but just as my plane crossed the Channel, the skies broke open and I was greeted by all sun and cheer in the UK.  Talk about breaking stereotypes.

At least we'll be able to find Sherlock.  Phew.

- - -

As a little epilogue, another photo from the past, evidence that London - although perhaps not so foggy - is still indeed windy:

From the top of St. Paul's - a long but worthy hike for the view.

On the tall man's return

Me : You're back!
The tall man fiance : Is it sweaty?
Me : < laughter >
Tall man : Oh ... you meant ...
Me : Yes, you ARE back.


Both of us, immediately afterward : We should tell L and J !

Thanks to our favorite antagonistic Asian/white couple for the inspiration.  This is a tribute to you.  We might need to work on our insults, but after all, we're only just engaged.  There's still time.

- - -
Text font : Savoye LET, with Nueva Condensed for emphasis

03 jan 2012

Because it's now public in so many ways ...

... a glimpse of the first glimpse, captured by our very own paparazzi man, John Liu.  This was (and is) my Africa ring, to pose no temptation to thieves or diamond diggers but as a token of a promise made.

One step for (one) man (and woman), one giant leap towards ... the future!  And what stands in between?  Thesis, job search, and the commencement of wedding planning - egads!

Being abroad - from the past

Way back when I could say that I was officially studying abroad in my college days and wanted to talk about how awesome it was to be abroad, I had come across a cool little project called Being Abroad.  Seemed perfect!  If you signed up and were selected, you would then become one of 100 people mailed one of 10 sketchbooks and add your own artistic entry about your own experiences in the wider world beyond.  It actually worked, in that one day a few years back, I got mailed a sketchbook by a complete stranger from England, and was then asked to ship it off to someone in another part of Europe.  (Not the most efficient path of travel, I suppose.)  The submissions would then be compiled in some sort of annotated book about personal stories abroad...

Then silence...

And then... a random email a couple weeks ago.  Ends up the book idea sort of fell through, but the guy behind it wanted to bring some closure to the project and is now making a website with all the entries.  I visited his own webpage and discovered that he now works for the slightly alternative literary publication McSweeney's - which makes him a cool person in my book.

In any rate, this inordinately long blog post is just to say that my submission will be published online on a URL yet to be revealed.  I'm excited in numerous ways, but mostly because... well frankly, I haven't the faintest memory of what I even drew/wrote, so it'll be like a mini blast from the past or a time capsule of sorts about my days in Paris or Beijing...or somewhere in between.

An update soon on our own international experience happening within the walls of MIT ...

Tying together the three strands

Seeing your best friend get married is somehow a more vocal reminder that we're - well - adults now.  For real.  It's not as if I haven't had close friends get married (and indeed, there have been MANY wedding bells since right after college graduation...goodness - in a good way), but somehow it was different this time around.  Jeanette (aka Confetti, or the Chinese lass) and Steve (aka the Hampshire country boy) tied the knot of three strands last weekend, among the gorgeous fall foliage of New England.  It was a delightful day and a half spent helping to prep for the big day, and then witnessing (with the other silly bridesmaids) the joining of two lives into one beautiful union under God.

Now it's time for some photo moments, where my words don't do justice :

Sunrise on the big day!  The bridemaids woke up around 6:30 (or was it 7?), but the dutiful bride woke up at 5:45 sharp and then apologized for making so much noise with the hair dryer... to which we responded, "Um, you're getting married today!  Don't apologize!"

On the way!  This was my first time riding in a stretch SUV, and I must say it was cozy - cozy enough to cozy up to the bride :D

The lovely bouquets made by loving hands.

 Oh, how glad I am that Jeanette married a guy who is equally silly and ridiculous.  At least I don't have to worry that she'll lose her sense of humor - on the contrary, they will likely get sillier as time goes on, and I look forward to that!

No, this photo is not staged.  Yes, Steve looks scary.  No, we are not some sort of mafia family.

Dance party!  Maybe this is what I look like from the vantage point of the tall one.  That puts things into perspective.

Whizzing back to the city...  Oh, the delights of autumn - how quickly they pass, how lovely still.

I had the great honor of delivering the toast for the bride.  Although I had started thinking about it a couple weeks earlier, I hadn't actually written anything down until the day before.  My scrawled notes just didn't seem to do justice to this responsibility, so I resorted to parking myself in the hotel business center and not getting up until I had something adequate to say to someone I've known for 22 years ... and something that I (and Jnet) wouldn't feel embarrassed about when memories of it would be recounted to us for years to come.  After several rewrites, I finally came up with something that somehow began to express elements of our friendship-turned-sisterhood.  There was a point when Jeanette came over during my writing frenzy, and I had to quickly scroll to a blank spot in my Word Doc and look at her with innocent eyes.  Of course she wasn't deceived, but at least I managed to keep this a surprise until the moment of delivery.

I'm not going to recount all of it here, although I will share the end part of the toast, which involved getting half the guests to sing along with me to a doctored version (pun...intended) of "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?".  These are the lyrics I printed out and demonstrated for the guests to get them on board with my ridiculous idea :

Cue:

So… can’t we all feel the love this afternoon?

Can’t we?

- - -

NOTE: SING when you see italics

- - -

We could see what was happening.

What?

And they somehow had a clue!

Who?

Jeanette and Steve fell in love, and here’s the bottom line – our group is down by two.

Oh.

The sweet caress of lab lights… there was magic (not malaria) everywhere!  And with all this romantic atmosphere…  a wedding’s in the aaaaaaairrrrr…

Can you feel the love today?

The peace the noon sun brings

Penacook, for once, in perfect harmony

With all its living things.

Can you feel the love today?

You needn't look too far

A Chinese lass, her Hampshire country boy,

Love is where they are…

[ toast ]

Somehow, the whole celebration would not have been complete nor authentically Jeanette (and Steve) unless a Disney song were sung in public.  (This is just my own thinking, so anyone is allowed to contend with it.)

In light of all of this, it's heartwarming to be reminded of how God has perfectly crafted the marriage relationship (and ministry) from imperfect people (whom He is making perfect).  And with that thought, I bid thee good night, and also hope that J+S are thoroughly enjoying their honeymoon and escape from reality (and internet access... fingers crossed).

Visualizing the City

Some highlights, pre-social networking site placement (that ubiquitous platform for all knowledge...):

 

  My '08-ers are all grown up!  (And I can still do self-takes.)

Favorite funny couple responded well to my prompt to look happy ... and made me laugh, haha.

IV-ers and friends reunite from across the country for Christine + Jonathan's happy day.

The Talaminis get a raucous send off outside of the romantic Wien Hall.  (Oh, Columbia...)

A lovely fern on my Stumptown macchiato and buttery croissant bid me a NYC farewell.

3 years and counting

3 years sounds like a long time to spend with one person, but it boggled my mind recently to realize that my brother and sister in law recently celebrated their 3rd year wedding anniversary.  So short and yet so long - now, which one is it?

No, they don't have 2 kids: that's Jenny's niece.  All photos snagged from their blog.

In that time, they ...
... moved to England and back, finished the Operation World manuscript, acted in pageants for an all-girls grammar school as one of the few young male teachers, become part of a thriving church community, met our "long lost" cousins in England, devotedly kept up a blog of their adventures, started to spell words in the British manner but not speak in the English way, had Isaac (my nephew), entertained a slew of visiting family and friends (including the Lo fam), visited the States with a barely-3 month old baby in tow, and now are starting another life journey in the Midwest and PhD land... among too many other things to name.

 And we went to the zoo, where Isaac exercised his grip of iron on his dad's hair.

I also became a fob for the day.

What else happens in 3 years?

In the measure of my own life, I ...
... finished my first job at an architecture firm, completed 2 years of grad school, pulled the most all nighters in my life, built a couple brick vaults, jetsetted abroad for work/study (and play) purposes (England, El Salvador, Spain, Japan, China, Thailand), was a bridesmaid in 2 weddings, celebrated countless weddings/engagements/babies of friends and family, became part of a thriving grad Christian fellowship, started playing the flute again, honed my "bless you" reputation...  among others.

Is it useful to list such accomplishments?  If to boast, perhaps not, although as a reflection and a reminder to be thankful, likely so.  It also reminds me of how blessed I've been by what God's done in my brother and Jenny's lives.

One thing I've learned from their marriage is the fact that you're not simply becoming the wife/husband for another person, but you're also going to be the sister/brother to that person's siblings, daughter/son to their parents, a friend to their friends, etc.  Scary thought, eh?  (Good thing I like meeting new people...phew.)  I think I've mentioned this before, but I say again that it's been great having the gift of an older sister after my bro married Jenny, and I just hope that I can be as good of a sister to future Mr.'s siblings as well... if/when that becomes a relevant statement.

Until then, my next foreseeable milestone is graduation in a deceptively long but actually short 1.5 years.  What will happen in that time, I'm not sure, but at least there's a sense of great expectancy for both myself and God's work at MIT.

Baby proofing

My recent homecoming pales in comparison to the recent arrival of my brother, sister in law, and nephew, who have been away in England for the past 2 years (well, Isaac I guess only 9 months) and have just returned shortly before I arrived.  The last time I saw the little guy above (the top one, not the one below) was when he was 3 months old, so in that short period of time he's grown so big!  He's much more expressive now and also more energetic, so we get tired out from running after him as he crawls or struggles to squirm away during diaper changes.  I've also learned that I have to be a bit less vain about my wardrobe, since whatever I wear ends up getting covered in drool and mashed up food.

Ah well, best to be humble anyways.