04 August 2011

Stepping out

"... Our journeys of faith, it seems to me, are just like that. We respond to the call of God by stepping out, one graced step at a time, into a luminous darkness. Our direction is clear, but the route reveals itself only as we put one foot in front of the other. We cannot know beforehand exactly where we are heading or how we will get there.  Nevertheless we trust in God to show us—and to be for us—the way.

- Deborah Smith Douglas
Weavings, July/August 2002

I'm a planner.  I like to know what's going on and what steps I need to take to get there.  There are situations in which I'm not exactly sure what to do, but there are few times in which I absolutely have no clue.  This is the case right now, in light of going to Haiti.  On one hand, I sense that God has told me and is still telling me that I will be going.  On the other hand... the question, then, is when?  And how?  With whom?  Realistically, time is running short.  I find myself doing things aligned with normal preparation: getting my vaccines, buying hand sanitizer, packing my travel towel.  This seems funny because I have no flight nor a definite group to be going with.  I have, by now, a whole bundle of leads and connections thanks to kind colleagues and responsive NGOs, but no actual plug-ins.  In it all, I can still be thankful for the pieces that have been coming together, while being reminded to keep trusting even when it seems either illogical or uncontrollable.  May my character and faith be all the more refined in the end.